Dear Doctors: A Letter from a Patient

dear-doctor

Written by S:

The following is what I have written in the hopes to one day be able to travel and see doctors and nurses in the eye and talk and see that we are human too. I am getting worse I am out of money and waiting for my long term disability to be approved to get more testing done. Till that time I hold on to hope I get my IV once a month and I look forward to a day when this will be but a memory and a issue I have over come. I really do think that now all over the world people are crying out for change. I believe in every part of what we currently use for process for the world to move forward this change must occur in all parts of government to the medical system the banking system etc… It’s hard for me to sit and do nothing. I can’t do much but I can try to help push for change. So if you like what I have written what has taken me months to properly formulate due to my symptoms please share. 

Dear Doctors,

I’m 36 years old and I have been damaged severely by antibiotics.

I know these words will make you tense some of you may have already stopped listening but I ask you to think why you are so afraid to hear my words, to quickly discount me, to try and silence me.

I am 2 years out from this and have gotten worse. I had zero of my current symptoms prior to taking the medication and yet Drs are quick to look at other possible reasons for my symptoms that have lead to me becoming disabled rather than accepting the fact that side effects from pills caused this.

My question to you is why? That is something that each of you must answer for yourself. It may be fear that you have indeed done harm by prescribing these antibiotics to others, it may be ego, it may be because me standing here telling you that the rates at which people are being damaged by pills is growing and that offends you because how dare someone who has not gone through the training you have dare question you.

I know that it is a difficult job to be in the field of HEALING. I use that word because that is truly the field you have chosen. It is to heal. My question to you is then why are we floxies so scary? Why do you want to discount us? I may be one person but I represent thousands of men, women, and children who have been harmed. Who are continued to be harmed. We looked for healing and because it is called the “medical” field and not the healing field and because Drs are encouraged and trained to see as many patients as quickly as possible do not become attached don’t see me as a human I am discounted and marginalized. I am quite real and there is a problem with the way we look at healing today.

I ask and would love the answer as to why naturopathic and holistic healing are not combined in a larger scale today. Why patients are not allowed to choose to have an IV or oil of oregano as their antibiotic rather than one made by the pharmaceutical industry. If it’s really all about healing than why can’t these worlds be combined and outside companies who have not been tainted be used to see if integrative methodology of healing is truly the best form? When you laugh or smirk at this that is your ego talking. No one person knows everything and yet naturopathic and holistic healing is consistently down played in western society as a whole. My question is it ego that is preventing this integration to increase, is it pressure and power from the pharmaceutical industry to only use their methods, is it lack of knowledge about natural and holistic healing? My belief is that it is a combination of all three and I am sure other issues such as the question has healing become a business and when you turn people away due to lack of funds  or when the billing department dictates who gets to be seen by a Dr based on insurance and not need what message does that send.

I ask that you look at me as see I am very real, I am human and I deserve and every person on this planet deserves to be treated as such. When you marginalize me or say well side effects happen all of the time you are telling us that we are an accident and we do not count. We do count I can assure you the pain and the frustration alienation that we receive are very real. The message to us is very clear that we scare you that we are a reminder that western medicine does do harm and you want us to go away. I am here to say please stop fearing us and let’s all work together to find a way to minimize damage to create better methods to hold those that create drugs that do damage accountable and to get back to healing everyone by using the safest and most effective method.

-S

** The story above is truthful, accurate and told to the best of the ability of the writer. It is not intended as medical advice. No person who submits his or her story, nor the people associated with www.fqwallofpain.com, diagnoses or treats any illness. The story above should not be substituted for professionally provided medical advice. Please consult your doctor before trying anything that has been mentioned in this story, or in any other story on this site. Please also note that people have varying responses to the treatments mentioned in each story. What helps one person may not help, and may even hurt, another person. It is important that you understand that supplements, IVs, essential oils, and all other treatments, effect people differently depending on the millions of variables that make each of us unique. Please use appropriate caution and prudence, and get professional medical advice.

Andrew’s Story – Life Devastation from Cipro

andrew-fqwall

This is my story.  Add it to the other terrible stories on this website to show the world what kind of devastation these antibiotics are capable of.  I never intended to write on the wall of pain because I always thought I would recover, and quite frankly in doing this it brings up more pain.  FYI –  this is a long post.  Don’t read it if you are newly floxed.

I’ll start with describing my life prior to Cipro.  I used to enjoy SO MUCH that life had to offer.  I probably had too many interests and activities.  Some of these were:  snowboarding, rock climbing, hiking the rockies, playing soccer with my daughter, (anything involving being active with my daughter), road biking, lifting weights and playing ice hockey many times a week.  I was in a few adult hockey leagues.  I also enjoyed trying to learn the banjo.  I was really into art.  I used to do pastel drawings but my main passion was sculpting and I had plans of retiring as a sculptor.  I was in pretty good shape.  I was intelligent, sharp, and witty with a good sense of humor.  I was social.  I was confident.  I was generally happy.

I took Cipro in late December 2011 through January of 2012.  I was on 500mg twice daily for prostatitis.  I had never had anything like prostatitis before but I knew I wanted it gone asap.  After being on the medication for well over a week with no issues I started to develop pain in my forearms.  Initially this didn’t bother me and I attributed it to a long round of puck shooting when I went to skate days prior.  This forearm pain got worse to the point I started to wonder if it was the Cipro.

I started to google info on my forearm issue and I ran across horror stories online about how cipro had “ruined” people’s lives.  That word “ruined” kept coming up in these stories and I couldn’t really believe it.  I had been a pharmacist for years and never heard of lives being ruined by fluoroquinolones unless it was torsades related.  I didn’t believe these people on the internet.  Their stories didn’t match up with the FDA approved package insert.  At that time I trusted the FDA.  I took the med a few more days with the idea that if the pain stayed or if it progressed I would quit the Cipro.  The prostatitis still hurt worse than the forearm pain.  What was the worst that could happen?  A torn tendon?  I woke up one day with achilles and right shoulder pain.  Ok that was a definite warning sign.  I immediately stopped taking Cipro.

My forearm tendonitis got worse but thankfully the achilles and shoulder pain went away within a day or so and it made me wonder if I had quit Cipro unnecessarily but I stuck with my decision.  Eventually my forearms hurt so bad it was difficult to open doors, wash my face and brush my teeth.  My forearms hurt like this for at least 6 months (to this day they have never fully recovered) but hey at least nothing like that crazy stuff on the internet happened to me… right?  Life went on and I completely forgot about Cipro.  I continued to be very active playing hockey, going on backpacking trips, hiking etc.  That summer I hurt my right shoulder doing pull ups but chalked it up to the fact that I hadn’t done them in awhile.

Near the end of 2012 I wanted to start working out again since I had quit for most of the year but my nagging right shoulder along with my still  recovering forearm tendonitis prevented me.  I finally started an intense workout program in March of 2013 after my shoulder felt better and that is when I noticed that my shoulders felt loose and crunchy.  I felt grinding and popping in both of them.  This is when the wheels started to fall off.  I had to quit working out not even a week into my program because of the sharp pain in my right shoulder.

It was also  in late 2012 and early 2013 that I started to experience anxiety and brain fog.  I had trouble focusing at work.  I really didn’t think too much of it.  I had shoulder issues and forearm issues but that was it.  Then in the summer of 2013 I developed knee pain.  Then in the winter of 2013 hip pain, along with dry eyes, dry skin, ringing in the ears, TMJ in my jaw and the occasional strange flash of light comet type thing.  I developed floaters.  In 2014 my autonomic dysfunction (that I had prior to all of this) got worse.  I started to feel like I was going to pass out or die when I exercised.  I started to feel more lightheaded and foggy at work.  I started to feel like I was going to pass out especially when I got in a tense situation that involved a lot of stress.  I started to notice a correlation with this brain fog with my coffee drinking (even though by this time I had intense brain fog all of the time).  I soon realized that I couldn’t tolerate coffee anymore.  I developed a fibrillating feeling in my chest that corresponded to feeling like I was going to pass out.  The lightheadedness and fibrillating feeling continued despite me quitting coffee.

In 2015 the pain spread to my hands.  I noticed that I could no longer play my stringed instruments because my hands would get so painful so quickly.  Mainly this was in my thumbs.  I could no longer sculpt because of this and the fact that my eyesight was getting worse.  I started finding it hard to read.  It seemed like parts of my vision were missing.  I went to eye specialist after eye specialist and they could find nothing.  I still have this problem.  For example I have to look at my wife’s right eye if I want to see her whole face.  If I look at her left eye part of the right side of her face is missing.  You would think this would show up on eye tests but it doesn’t.  It reminds me of the strange vision some people get with migraines.

In the summer of 2015 I had a little reprieve from some of my symptoms.  I got on my road bike and through pain I went on a few 20 mile rides.  I thought I was getting better so I went hiking with my wife and went many miles.  After this hiking trip my knees were never the same.  They have since become loose with some strange popping.  The backs of them hurt bad all of the time.  I feel like I can hardly walk a few blocks now without feeling some major pain and a swelling feeling.  In late 2015 I started on testosterone and glutathione injections.  (My testosterone levels were low for the first time in my life)  I developed some pretty severe hamstring tendonosis despite not being that active at that time.  Since last fall/winter of 2015 I have become inactive.  I do nothing physical anymore.  I feel like my body breaks down when I do.  The new addition to my pain, which has far surpassed my torn right shoulder labrum, both my torn hip labrums, my right knee torn meniscus has been my back.  I feel nearly constant back pain from my lumbar to between my shoulder blades.  It seems to be getting worse.  I feel like the glutathione and testosterone might have made me worse but I’m not sure.

I have been to many Dr.s, family drs, orthopedic surgeon, 2 rheumatologists, many eye docs, a neurologist, a regenerative medicine Dr.  I have had MRI’s, some of my brain.  I have had many tests which nearly all come up normal.  Nobody so far has been able to help me.  I failed a cognitive function test with the neurologist.  I have severe brain fog to the point of feeling like I have dementia at times.  I am no longer social as I have problems carrying on a conversation.  My mind blanks out a lot.  I have problems with word finding.  I even feel like I have to fight slurring my speech at times.  I have problems with typing now.  I used to type very fast.  I have problems with reading comprehension and find myself re reading things a lot.  I get confused often.  I feel like my mind plays tricks on me.

I don’t know why all of the information says that fluoroquinolone toxicity can develop as late as 6 months, or even many months.  It seems like it is still developing with me.  Nearly all of my symptoms came OVER A YEAR after I took this evil poison.  This whole thing has been so bizarre.  In a million years I could never have dreamed up a worse nightmare for myself.

People don’t understand what it’s like to be floxed.  People look from the outside and see normal.

What is it like to be severely floxed?  You wake up every day in a nightmare that you can’t get out of.  You wake every day in pain.  You become fragile and weak.  You injure yourself easily.  You feel 100 years old.  Your IQ feels like it is dropping by the day.  Your body creaks, grinds and pops.  You can no longer do any of the things that made life fun and enjoyable.  You no longer exercise.  You try all day long to find Dr.s, information on the internet, anything that will help you.  You spend countless hours on floxie hope, various facebook groups trying to find help.  You look into candida overgrowth.  Fluoride poisoning.  Leaky gut.  Mercury poisoning.  You become obsessed.  You become paranoid.  You think  “what other types of evil chemicals has man concocted and are they in my food, water supply etc”.  You read many studies on fluoroquinolones that don’t help you.  You cut out gluten.  You cut out GMO’s.  You try various diets.  You cut out anything that has antibiotics in it.  You eat only organic.  You can no longer go to a restaurant with your wife on a date.  You buy books.  You read them.  They don’t help.  You take 40 supplements a day to try to reverse this horrific nightmare.  You avoid people because your brain isn’t working.  You lose friendships.  You become isolated.  You find yourself crying at work or at random times.  You want to do fun things with your family but you can’t.  You can only watch tv and movies now.  You used to be the active dad that played soccer with her daughter and all of the other kids but now you watch.  You watch life go by from the sidelines.  You want intimacy with your wife but your body doesn’t always work like it used to and you don’t have the drive you used to.  You stop going to church because being social is too stressful for you.  You become forgetful.  You can’t remember things you did earlier in the day.  You find yourself falling behind on yard maintenance, things around the house, bills etc.  You feel like you are failing your family.  Mowing the yard is a workout and painful.  You can barely make it through the day at work.  You avoid contact with coworkers because you know your aren’t right anymore.  You become silent.  You aren’t funny anymore.  You don’t have a personality anymore.  People start to think you are weird, antisocial, lazy but really you just can’t think and you hurt all of the time.  You want to walk out of work, out of your life but you have bills to pay and a family to provide for.  You are anxious.  You are beyond stressed out.  You pray for healing constantly.   Eventually you start to pray for death, for terminal cancer, anything that has an end in sight.  Anything that will end this nightmare.  Anything that will end the pain.  You start to think about suicide.  You start to fight suicidal thoughts.  You are hanging on by a thread, every single day and most of the people around you have no clue.  You are no longer you.

This type of thing shouldn’t happen from taking an antibiotic 4.5 years ago but it did.  Sadly, it will continue to happen to others.  How many people (especially the elderly) are out there going through the same type thing but have no clue it was an antibiotic they took years prior??  The majority will be women and elderly because that demographics gets fluoroquinolones the most.

It won’t always be like this, the pain and suffering.  If you are fortunate to have good health, that won’t last either.  I have to remember that.  Inevitably our bodies will deteriorate to the point of death and then eternity begins.  I like to think that the real life will begin.

Revelation 21 :

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”[a] for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”

I struggle to have hope for this life but what keeps me going is my amazing wife (who I’ve only been married to for two years, she’s been through so much with this), my daughter and most of all my faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior and thoughts of the afterlife.  If you don’t know the good news about Jesus Christ contact me through Lisa if you want to learn.  If I didn’t have these in my life I would be 6 feet underground by now for sure.  I would have taken my own life.  I understand why this class of medication has a fairly high suicide rate.  There are worse things in life than death.  I continue to pray for a miracle because I do believe in that sort of thing.  Hopefully, God willing, there will be healing in this lifetime.  I also look forward to the next life where there will be no greed driven corruption that destroys other people’s health, quality of life, relationships, and families for the price of a prescription.  The drug companies and the FDA have known about these quality of life destroying reactions for years and years but didn’t warn us adequately until this year, and still the warning isn’t good enough.

** The story above is truthful, accurate and told to the best of the ability of the writer. It is not intended as medical advice. No person who submits his or her story, nor the people associated with www.fqwallofpain.com, diagnoses or treats any illness. The story above should not be substituted for professionally provided medical advice. Please consult your doctor before trying anything that has been mentioned in this story, or in any other story on this site. Please also note that people have varying responses to the treatments mentioned in each story. What helps one person may not help, and may even hurt, another person. It is important that you understand that supplements, IVs, essential oils, and all other treatments, effect people differently depending on the millions of variables that make each of us unique. Please use appropriate caution and prudence, and get professional medical advice.