James’ Story – Life After Levofloxacin Poisoning

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My name is James and I wanted to share my the experiences that I’ve had over the past two years and eight months, since taking 5 simple doses of levofloxacin 500mg pills.

If I wrote a story of my life prior to January 7, 2014 it would look like this:

I am 34 years old. I have a busy life. I’m married to my wonderful wife of 12 years and have a 9 year old daughter and a 5 year old daughter. Between working full time as a construction engineer, running my girls to girl scouts and dance, playing on a men’s softball team from May through September, being a volunteer firefighter, and being active in my community, I leave little time for myself. However, I have the energy and mental awareness to pull this all off and live a happy life. I don’t eat the very best diet, but I try to balance it out. I ride my bike as often as I can – usually for 18 to 20 miles every other day. I do situps, pushups, jumping jacks, and stretches every day. I have toned muscles, and am fortunate that I have been able to be in decent shape without really having to work out aggressively like others that I know. I like to go out with friends. I enjoy spending time with my family. We go camping and take family “mini” vacations a few times a year. Life is good for me. I have always had asthma, but it’s controlled with daily maintenance inhalers and has never prevented me from exerting myself.

I could go on and on about how great it was because it’s true. I was happy and healthy, and enjoying life.

The only major medical issue that I had in my entire life, aside from asthma, was that I was diagnosed with papillary micro carcinoma of the right lobe in my thyroid. This was found during a routine annual physical, which I always have done just to be sure that I am in good shape. I felt a little dizzy when taking the deep breaths while the doctor was listening to my lungs. As a result, he decided to to an EKG that was normal. He also felt my lymph nodes and there was nothing wrong there either, but he did notice a small lump in the right lobe of my thyroid. I had no history of thyroid cancer in my family, but he wanted to have an ultrasound done to check it out further. This happened in August of 2012. Between that time and December 2012, I had three repeat ultrasounds and two fine needle aspirations (biopsies where they stick a needle into your neck to collect a sample of the growths to be tested for cancer). Results were in, positive for cancer, and I had surgery on December 30, 2012 to remove the right lobe of my thyroid as well as the isthmus (the center connective tissue that joins the left and right lobes). The surgeon didn’t notice and other lumps and tested what was removed to triple check that it was, in fact, cancer.

Good news for me! Cancer was gone and my thyroid levels were not affected enough to warrant supplements. I was healthy again. I weighed about 235 pounds and it was mostly muscle with minimal fat.

Back to my current reality:

I experience confusion or clouded thoughts. I forget things a lot. My joints ache and pop all the time. I have flushed skin and rashes all over. I have IBS with diarrhea. My muscles ache. I am not social. I do not enjoy volunteering in the fire company, and have not been active with them for about a year and a half. I quit softball. I don’t have energy to play with my girls, who are now 12 and 8 years old and need a dad that can be active. My wife and I argue due to the fact that I just don’t have the will, strength, or energy to do just about anything. I’m not doing well at work, and most coworkers and supervisors notice it. I used to supervise a staff of my own and had that taken away from me due to my inattentiveness and disorganization.

I have low self esteem. I know who I used to be, and I am no longer that person. At least physically, and I a somewhat bitter about that.

How did this happen?

On New Year’s Eve, December 31, 2013, I was enjoying watching the New Year’s festivities on TV with my wife and daughters. We even stayed up until the ball dropped to watch the fireworks from our back kitchen window. It was a lot of fun, and we all went to bed feeling a little tired but happy.

The next morning I woke up to complete body aches and what I figured was the flu or maybe bronchitis. I spent the next 5 days laying in bed or on the couch before I started to feel better. I had a little difficulty breathing still and I figured that it was due to my asthma, which never bothered me before. Since it was a little concerning that my breathing felt a little labored, I went to an urgent care center (my doctor’s office was closed and the on call suggested that I go there if this was really bothering me).

At urgent care, after checking everything else out, they thought that my breathing sounded a little raspy when listening to my chest. They did an x-ray and found a small amount of fluid in my right lung. They said that it was pneumonia and that I needed an antibiotic.

I’ve heard of many different types of antibiotics before, and even had taken some for infections in the past. It was always septra, amoxicillin, or penicillin. When they told me that they were prescribing Levaquin (I got the generic version – levofloxacin), I had never heard of it. They told me that it was the “big gun” of the antibiotics and that I’d be feeling great in a few days. I was prescribed 7 pills of 500mg to be taken once daily, starting that night.

After three days I was already feeling great. My breathing was normal again and the other symptoms of the flu or whatever it was that I had were gone. I took the fourth pill and later that day I noticed that my head felt like I was in the “fog” so to speak. I took the fifth pill and that feeling intensified later that day and I also started feeling very weak. I decided that I was over the pneumonia and threw the remaining two pills out.

From that point forward, I began to have all of the feelings that I mentioned above: dizziness, confusion, pain all over, popping joints in my hands and feet, brittle fingernails and toenails, weight loss, rashes all over my body, irritability, mood swings, lack of interest in things that I normally enjoyed doing, etc. My wife and I would argue a lot due to this. I felt like I was becoming useless. I felt horrible and knew how it felt to feel good, but I didn’t feel good.

I went to see my primary doctor in mid February after these issues got worse. I weighed 204 pounds – which I hadn’t weighed in almost 20 years. I had diarrhea daily since taking the pills. I was weak and my doctor was suspecting that maybe I had some form of cancer or infection that was causing all of this. He sent me for every blood test known to man, and it all came back normal.

I went to see him about every other month, not feeling any better, but put weight back on and was up near 250 by July 2014. It was mostly fat now, not really any muscle tone. The repeated blood tests kept coming back normal.

Frustrated, I insisted that it was hypothyroidism since all of the symptoms seemed to fit and I did have half of my thyroid removed when I had cancer. Those tests also kept coming back normal.

Over the next two years, I insisted to him that I had never felt this bad until I took the levofloxacin prescription that was was given at the urgent care center. He dismissed it each time that I complained about it. Almost like I was insulting his family member.

It wasn’t until this past July, when I told him that I wanted another doctor to look over my history, that he sent me for a blood test for low testosterone. I was now 37 years old and low testosterone wasn’t even on my radar. How could I have low testosterone??

Surprise, my levels were as low as an 80 year old man. Another surprise, he now told me that he is suspicious that my low testosterone might be caused by damage to my pituitary glad and that the levofloxacin may have caused the damage. He apologized for not looking into this sooner, and also for dismissing my idea that it was an antibiotic that caused this. He is now looking into this with other patients who have taken similar drugs and have mystery diagnoses.

A lot of the symptoms of low testosterone parallel the symptoms of hypothyroidism as well as those that I’ve read that are caused by being poisoned by levofloxacin.

Today is August 31, 2016 and I am due to see my primary again on Friday September 2 to get my prescription for a testosterone supplement. If all goes as I’ve read, I should begin feeling better within a week or two. I’m really hoping that’s the case. I’m tired of being tired all the time. I want to feel like I used to. My family needs be back. My employer needs me to perform.

While I don’t definitively know if levofloxacin caused my testosterone to drop so low and make me feel like I do, I suspect that it did. I had never felt as bad as I do now until I took it and have no other risk factors that could contribute to this.

It’s been a physical and mental struggle for me and my family during the ordeal. I feel like they sometimes resent me, but I know that they love me and want me to get better.

I will keep you updated.

Sorry for the novel!!

-James P.

December, 2016 update from James:

I wanted to share some supplements that have been helping me to have enough energy to get more active. My dad introduced them to me, and he is an older man who still runs marathons.  These keep him going.

Hammer Nutrition is the manufacturer. The three that I’ve been using for a few weeks now are:

1. Premium Insurance Caps

2. Mito Caps

3. Race Caps Supreme

They are not quite life changing, but pretty close to it – considering how bad I’ve been feeling in general.

I’ve noticed more energy, less brain fog, less muscle fatigue and soreness, less frequent headaches, and slightly more productive/restful sleep.

The best is the energy and decreased muscle and joint pain/fatigue.  It’s allowing me to talk longer walks and actually work up up a sweat, and attempt to lose weight.

As for the testosterone, so far that TRT has produced ZERO results. My levels are actually lower now that I’m on it. These supplements at least get me moving the way TRT is supposed to.

Please feel free to share the info on the supplements. They are for men and women. I recommend them since they are the first things that have given me any hope or results in about three years.

March, 2017 Update:

I had another two rounds of blood work done recently.  My testosterone levels are still way below the low end of “normal” range.  Zero improvement even with doubling my dose and being on it for 6 months. Also, ALT levels were very high. My doctor attributed that to the very high levels of vitamin E in those Hammer Nutrition products (E being fat soluble and stored in the liver). I am back to taking standard daily multivitamins, vitamin D, zinc, magnesium, and now DHEA.  In the month that I’ve been on these, I actually better than I thought I would but I’m still not the person I should be.  The Hammer Nutrition products are working great for my dad and other people that I know, it just may be that people like me can’t take them because our bodies were “reprogrammed” and don’t process things like they should.

Some new news, finally, I am seeing an endocrinologist who will follow me for my thyroid, low testosterone, and (wait for it) pituitary glad.  Apparently, it’s possible that my pituitary gland was damaged (from levofloxacin?) and that could be causing all of my hormone and other issues that no one can explain. The endo will be testing my pituitary gland for damage and will help me out with that if it is damaged.

I never even thought of the pituitary glad, and now that I’ve researched it – it seems to make sense and could be the missing piece of my puzzle. It’s likely throwing my thyroid and testosterone levels off.

Time will tell…

Take care,

James

** The story above is truthful, accurate and told to the best of the ability of the writer. It is not intended as medical advice. No person who submits his or her story, nor the people associated with http://www.fqwallofpain.com, diagnoses or treats any illness. The story above should not be substituted for professionally provided medical advice. Please consult your doctor before trying anything that has been mentioned in this story, or in any other story on this site. Please also note that people have varying responses to the treatments mentioned in each story. What helps one person may not help, and may even hurt, another person. It is important that you understand that supplements, IVs, essential oils, and all other treatments, effect people differently depending on the millions of variables that make each of us unique. Please use appropriate caution and prudence, and get professional medical advice.

J’s Story – Dear Mr. M.D…..

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Pic from a google image search, not the actual doctor mentioned

Mr. MD,
I am addressing this letter to make you aware of the physical and mental nightmare I have been enduring on a daily basis since you prescribed me Levaquin (levofloxacin) for a simple urinary tract infection. The adverse drug reactions that I am suffering are sometimes so painful that crying has become natural. The joint pains throughout my body, constant headaches, and peripheral neuropathy (pins and needles, burning, electrical shocks) on my legs and arms, are sometimes unbearable.

What I find disturbing is the fact that on the follow up medical visit, you pretended to be surprised that I was experiencing these horrific side effects, and actually started to make excuses by alleging that I was suffering from rheumatic arthritis, and immediately tried to pawn me off to all kinds of other doctors. You also recommended for me to take NSAIDs, which later I found out is a big NO NO when someone has being exposed to fluoroquinolones.

On the second medical follow up appointment, when I confronted you with FDA documentation on Levaquin side effects, all you could do was scratch your head and continuously respond “I don’t know” to the questions I was asking in reference to my current physical disaster.

Another disturbing fact is that your office called me after the second follow up visit to tell me that I needed to go back, because you had forgotten to examine my joints. On the following week at your office, the entire medical examination consisted of you staring at my ankles for approximately 20 seconds and saying okay. Your office was also quick to file another insurance claim for that visit. Total time spend receiving medical attention from you and your office to include body weighing, blood pressure, and your consultation for all four office visits did not surpassed twenty minutes (excluding the time spend in the lobby waiting area).

I am embarrassed and upset at myself, for being so stupid in believing that all doctors are always looking out for the better health of their patients. After I had been poisoned by this antibiotic, it only took me about two minutes, to research on the internet all the horrific fluoroquinolones side effects that are affecting thousands of people on a daily basis. I am positive that you as a medical doctor may have better and more accurate access to the side effects statistics and devastating side effects of these antibiotics. If you would had advised me of the Levaquin possible side effects on February 23, 2015, I know for a fact I would have told you “NOOO, NEGATIVE” and asked you to prescribed me a penicillin based antibiotic.

Doctor, please take time to advice patients of the possible horrific side effects of these antibiotics, if you are still prescribing them.

As for me, my daily existence since the day after the last poison pill, has been a daily physical struggle, to which waking up in the mornings, is not a blessing anymore.

Doctor, I have no ill feelings towards you. I was just one of thousands of unlucky ones who have been poisoned by these demonic antibiotics. Ironically, I thank GOD that you did not prescribe me 750mg, instead of the 500mg, and or 10 pills instead of 5 pills.

I am okay in my heart; I hope you are okay too. I have faith in GOD, that one day; this whole nightmare will start to gradually ease off.

I realize now, it is greed and egoism what are controlling the fate of this world. The FDA, pharmaceutical companies and even some doctors, sole motivation is greed, and egoism with zero consideration towards human lives. Fluoroquinolones are devastating lives on a daily basis, but no one seems to care as long as the money keeps rolling in and they are not the ones getting poisoned by these antibiotics.

Heidi’s Story – Levofloxacin Harm

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Heidi wrote the following letter to several United States Senators, urging them to hold a congressional hearing about the harm done by fluoroquinolones.

Dear Senator,

I am writing, along with many others, to ask you to conduct a Congressional Hearing immediately into why adequate warnings have not been placed on fluoroquinolone antibiotic labels, including Levaquin, Cipro, Avelox and others, to also include ‘cartilage damage’ and ‘mitochondrial toxicity’.  This is in addition to the two already existing black box warnings for ‘tendon rupture’ and ‘peripheral neuropathy-nerve damage’.  I also urge you to demand that the FDA notify ALL DOCTORS to cease the widespread prescribing of Fluoroquinolone antibiotics on an outpatient basis; and to further restrict dispensing of these strong antibiotics to urgent life threatening cases where all else has failed and within a hospital setting. Perhaps some pre-certification process could be implemented for prescribing these drugs on an outpatient basis ONLY to those few who rely on them for serious medical conditions, have experienced no side effects, and with their fully informed consent.  The desire to retain the strongest antibiotics to fight increasing super-bugs is understandable even when problems are reported, but perhaps the solution is in very strict and limited distribution of these drugs.  Instead, these mega antibiotics are often set up as the go-to formulary antibiotics in many hospitals, some elder care facilities, and used as a cure-all in some physician’s offices for minor to moderate problems.

Our medical system should also establish a means to better educate doctors regarding updated potential side effects and interactions of drugs.  Doctors also need an efficient process for reporting patient’s drug side effects to the FDA and incentives or controls may be needed to implement this.   Improved monitoring by the FDA and quicker reaction when issues arise is also needed.  Greater effort may require better government funding for the FDA so they can effectively do their jobs without relying so heavily on funding from drug companies, a potential conflict of interest.  Furthermore, FDA testing of suspected problems with drugs should be conducted by independent laboratories and not by the drug companies that manufacture the product and have billions at stake.

I am a 60-year old female and had the misfortune of being prescribed Levofloxacin (generic Levaquin) for bronchitis on April 24, 2013, by a physicians assistant.  This was while my primary care doctor was away on National Guard duty.  After 1-3 days, I was so impaired that I could barely move.  Initially I thought I had a very terrible flu as my entire body was extremely achey with most joints making popping noises.  Both hips became worse as the week progressed, with very severe joint pain and both hips locking up while changing positions or direction.  Getting up from a sitting position was painful and I had to use hiking poles to walk or negotiate stairs.  I could hardly bend over and dressing and showering became difficult.

I had trouble lifting my left leg forward and it gave way several times.  I began to think I was getting polio or some strange disease until on day seven I read the drug flyer and single black box warning about ‘severe joint pain and to stop taking immediately, worse if age 60 or older or worse if on prednisone’.  I was almost 59 at the time and had been taking prednisone daily for 14 years.  Who would think that an antibiotic could do this level of damage so quickly?  I phoned CVS about my predicament and they told me Levaquin (and generic) had some reported problems and to file an FDA Medwatch form which I did almost immediately.  When I told the physician’s assistant about my reaction to Levaquin he gave me a weird look and said “there’s no way to know”!

During the remainder of 2013 the bilateral hip pain and locking up problems persisted with varying minor improvement toward year end.  I had MRIs suspecting labral tears in the hips, was treated by a pain management doctor, received cortisone shots, went to physical therapy for months, and consulted an orthopedic surgeon.  I also saw my primary care doctor upon his return and he agreed that my bilateral hip problems were very likely from the Levofloxicin since he had known me for years and knew that I was fairly active and problem-pain free before this.  He mentioned another physicians assistant in his practice that had also suffered with serious side effects from Levofloxicin.  During this timeframe my physical problems were obvious and conversations with several other people who had also taken Levaquin/Levofloxicin revealed that 7 out of 11 were badly impacted from it as well.  Two of these people have required surgeries in the knee or hip.  The problems of some resolved several months later but the problems of others still persist.

In most cases, when they suspected the direct connection with Levaquin/Levofloxicin, they were dismissed by their doctors.  In addition, none of these doctors informed their patients about the FDA Medwatch form and to my knowledge no one else has filled out the form.  The result is ‘no record of serious problems’.

During 2014 my hip problems worsened.  I tried more physical therapy, got high quality MRIs confirming acetabulum labral tears in both hip joints as well as arthritis, and consulted three more orthopedic surgeons.  Acetabulum-labral tears will not heal without surgery and arthritis can be accelerated as a result of labrum tears.  The conclusion by the surgeons is that my problems will not resolve and that I will need both hips replaced.

I easily found clinical-peer reviews on-line, authored by the Mayo Clinic, NIH and other doctors, citing the likely causal relationship of Fluoroquinolones to musculoskeletal damage of cartilage, tendons, ligaments, and healing of bone.  One NIH peer review of Fluoroquinolones referenced trial results including ‘destruction of cartilage in load bearing joints of juvenile animals in the study’, with a conclusion to not give Fluoroquinolones to children.  I found reports by the FDA and others acknowledging that these drugs can also cause ‘mitochondrial toxicity’, another serious problem.  Drugs should not be considered innocent ‘forever’ until proven guilty over and over.  A recent NBC newscast cites FDA statistics of 1,200 deaths and 100,000 people ‘reporting’ serious side effects from these potentially toxic drugs.  ‘Actual’ numbers are estimated to be ten times the ‘reported’ numbers (via FDA Medwatch form).  The widespread dosing and impacts of these drugs on many thousands of people in the USA and abroad, while vast numbers of serious problems are reported and suspected, is disturbing on a scale that is inconceivable.

I am more fortunate than so many others who have lost their jobs, homes, or more from these potentially debilitating drugs and believe this miscarriage of medicine has gone on far too long.   We deserve to hear from the FDA about adverse events related to Levaquin, Cipro, and Avelox and all their generics through a Congressional Hearing, as do doctors and patients.  Physicians, researchers, and victims like me are ready to testify.  Thank you for your concern regarding this critical issue which affects thousands of people in your state and throughout this country.  This could be you, your elderly parent, or your child. As a society, we must DO NO HARM!

Mindy’s Story – Hell Within

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Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since I took Levaquin and ended up in the mental ward of the hospital. I am guessing that I had a psychotic reaction to the medicine. I told my doctor, but he said it only effects the joints.

I don’t like talking about it, I’ve only told 2 people.

I was given Levaquin for a chest cold. I took it and went to lay down for bed an hour later. I laid down and closed my eyes and saw in my mind’s eye a huge, flashing light. I freaked out and went to the kitchen. There was a knife on the stove and something was pushing me to grab it and do something to my husband. It was such a strong feeling. I grabbed my phone and ran out of the house to the street and called the sheriff and told them to come take me to the hospital. All I could see was that light, there was nothing in the world but me and that light. I got to the emergency room. While waiting for the doctor, I asked the nurses to restrain my hands. They wouldn’t. A male nurse came in to draw my blood. I had my eyes closed when he came in, but my sense of smell was so strong, I could smell his male scent and I wanted to attack him. I just laid there with my eyes closed.

They took me up to the mental ward, no one had any idea what was going on with me. I have dealt with panic attacks for years, so they kept giving me medicine for the attacks. My body rejects most medicine, so if one medicine made the attacks worse, then they gave me another and another. An antidepressant too.

I didn’t sleep for 50 hours, I lost track after that. With the flashing light came thousands of images that flashed through my head. Dark things that I have never seen. Eventually it all subsided, then they gave me the Levaquin again and the flashing light and images were back. I knew then what was causing it and told them not to give me the Levaquin again. Through the experience, I felt my brain being fried and parts of it shutting down like it had enough, so it quit firing. I still don’t feel most of my brain. It is numb or dead or damaged. I dunno.

The thoughts don’t come as often. Strange things that I never thought of before the Levaquin. Like, the thought of what the texture of roadkill would be like in my mouth, the thought of driving into oncoming traffic, the thought of hurting my beautiful little kittens, the thought that cat poop smells good and I should rub it on my body. I am so scared of everything now and I’m scared of myself. I was going to hang myself when I got home due to the dark thoughts.

I have the physical symptoms that floxed people talk about, but what does the body matter without the mind?

Shells’ Story – Levaquin and Avelox Toxicity

Shelley FQWall

Welllll…. I was prescribed Levaquin(Levofloxacin) a Fluoroquinolone, twice in 2003 along with 3 pills of Avelox(Moxifloxacin) also a Fluoroquinolone, making a total of just 20 pills, to treat the same sinus I’d been battling. No warning…. no discussion…. just told that this (Levaquin) was a “powerful antibiotic”…. I actually felt relieved, trusting that my Doctor really ca…red about my health. This was the first time I was ever diagnosed w/ a sinus infection…. I had never suffered anything more than a common cold or virus except for a bout of bronchitis once. I’ve always taken excellent care of myself, somewhat proud of staying active and physically fit well into my forties, and even after giving birth to twins at 40!!

You can read my actual words of horror and disbelief below…. this was originally an email I had sent to Gary Moller after reading an article he had written about Fluoroquinolones on his website. At that time, there were not too many online articles…. just mostly research articles or data. I had no idea he would publish my cry for help on his website, and in fact came across it by accident a few months after I had emailed him.

The words were from my heart…. the only thing I did not write was the subject line, which was added by Gary…. but I decided to leave it, since POISONING is what we’re dealing with as far as the Fluoroquinolones are concerned.

Also note that this was “just the beginning”……

Gary has since contacted me several times for follow-up. Feel free to post a Comment…. his page on the Fluoroquinolones could use a little action!! And we need all the exposure we can get!!

Thank you Tami for putting up this FB page as well. My heart goes out to every one of you!! United we can make a difference!!
Keep the FAITH ~~

~Shells~

Rose Terry’s Story – Levaquin Poisoning

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Rose Terry before Levaquin

Telling my story is very painful. I’ve cried a swimming pool full of tears and I feel so old now disabled at only 59!  It’s been 7 long painful years that Levaquin has taken from me!It was March 20, 2007 when I was handed a package of 10 antibiotic pills called Levaquin which I faithfully took for a bronchial condition and possible pneumonia. No tests were taken and I trusted the Doctor as I had always trusted Doctors. But I didn’t get better and …actually felt worse; extremely tired, couldn’t sleep, very dizzy, sore feet, joints & muscles, just all over miserable and frustrated with Doctors as this was the second round of antibiotics, the first being a common one such as Amoxicillin.I was fed up with regular Doctors by this time so decided to go the route of an alternative Dr of Naturapath – but had to wait a while to get an apt… meanwhile the pneumonia got better, but the rest of me didn’t! I still hurt all over! Sleep disturbances like I never had before. And my darn feet hurt!

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Lisa’s Story – Ciprofloxacin Side-Effects

Lisa wall of pain

Lisa’s story –

I took 500 milligrams of Cipro/ciprofloxacin twice a day for 3.5 days in 2009, and again in 2011, to treat urinary tract infections.  In 2009, I did not react badly at all and was able to continue living my life as a normal 29-30 year old.  When I took Cipro/ciprofloxacin again in 2011, I experienced a severe adverse reaction to the drug.

Before I reacted badly to Cipro/ciprofloxacin, I was a very active, healthy, happy 32 year old.  I enjoyed hiking, crossfit, reading, dating, dancing, traveling, etc.  I was so fit that I had hiked the entire 500 mile Colorado Trail in the summer of 2010.  I was “healthy as a horse” as they say and never needed to go to the doctor – except to treat the occasional urinary tract infection that I got about once every 2 years.

After I took Cipro/ciprofloxacin, I experienced the following adverse effects:

  • Weakness in my legs.  I could barely walk.  The steps that I could take took a tremendous amount of effort and energy.  I couldn’t stand for more than a minute.
  • Tightness of the tendons in my legs.  I had inflammation, and possibly tears, in most of the tendons in my legs and feet.  My hips, knees and ankles, to simplify things, didn’t work right.
  • Loss of use of muscles / loss of strength.  My muscles, especially the muscles in my legs, wouldn’t move like they used to.  All of my movements were slow and deliberate.

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